Yes, that was the most painful walk in my entire life, and probably the longest. I really tried to save my ass back then, but it was damn late when I realized I have come to love it, and I enjoyed walking under it.
Every single step I take, I got further, I got madly sad, it felt like something is squeezing my heart, and something is blocking my throat. I wanted to stop walking and look around the place or this could be the last time I’d be walking there with it. I wanted to cherish every bit of second I was there but I did not, I lifted foot from the ground and moved forward. I swear I’d definitely do my best if I got through, I swear I wouldn’t take it for granted,
The smell of the atmosphere I’ve gotten used to, the laughter and silliness I’ve had with them, the struggle and hardship we’ve gone through, are flashing in this stupid memory slowly one after another.
I’ve chosen to walk alone during that time. I can hear their voices calling, but I did not look back, I ignored it as if I heard nothing, I continued walking, because I know even a glance would trigger the tears I’ve been stopping from falling, I wanted to go through this the easiest way I could, without showing a sad face, without crying. I don’t want them to remember me at my worst, I sought to be remembered with a cheerful smiling face. I can’t look at them, even faking a smile is impossible, I betrayed them, I broke our promise.
The game is over for me. This walk marked the end of my fight. I should really step forward and move on, though I know it wouldn’t be as easy as pressing ctrl+Z, but it’s the only thing I can do. Crazy as it may seem but I’ve always wanted this to happen, but when it finally did, I can’t seem to watch the ending I’ve plotted.
I knew I’d flunk without even seeing the result, because I needed the entire exam with no mistake, but I committed two, this path I’ve chosen for the sake of compliance ended with regrets and heartbreak.
☺Click the speech bubble at the top of this post next to the title to comment.☺